Nihon's Ninja Diaries!
by Felichi
Summary: Japan didn't expect that his little accidental joke would evolve into something this massive... His ninja powers were just too sugoi for everyone else to understand, especially for Germany's neighbour. - A little GerIta, Spamano, FrUK and USUK references - R&R, please! - Rated T just in case.
1. Meditation Time On Neighbour's Lawn!

**A/N: Heeeello everyone, I'm here again with another weird story! I's mostly from Japan's POV, so when a person talks about himself, it's always Nihon~ He might also be a little OOC. (sorry). Yup. So, up with the story! Oh, and please rate and review! All reviews are always appreciated!  
PS: I do not own Hetalia, even if I wanted to~**

Enjoy!

* * *

** Nihon's Ninja Diaries!**

Honestly, I would have never thought of something like this happening to me. _Ever._

I was standing right in middle of the meeting room, all the nations in a one, huge, wrestling mess. The cause? Me.  
It was just an innocent joke, nothing bad should have happened from it. And still it evolved to something like this... Sigh. They're never gonna learn, aren't they?

It all started the day before...

* * *

I was running in the park with Germany-san, training. Italy-kun was right after us, shouting something I couldn't really hear. I paid no mind to it anyway. Until I heard a unbelievably loud smooching sound behind me. I turned immediately around while pulling out my camera, and that was just the right thing to do; somehow Italy had managed to fall on Germany so their lips crashed together and Italy-kun was on top of Germany-san.  
'YES! FINALLY SOME ACTION!' I thought and jumped in to the bushes (because I'm a ninja, so what?) while taking 100 photos in a minute. Inside I was shouting in glee, outside I showed no emotion, since I'm professional like that (AND I'M NIHON, BITCHES. MY FACE SHALL NOT SHOW EMOTION ANYWAY). The oblivious (seriously, they're still oblivious?) couple on the ground noticed nothing when I took pictures from every angle. They couldn't get up from their awkward position, but they didn't look like they would want to get up anyway. I squealed internally. Their blushing faces were so KAWAII~! The sudden exclamation caused me shout something I would have never guessed I would say, but while hiding behind the bush, I jumped to my feet and shouted: "YEAH, DOITSU, SHAKE THAT BOOTY!"  
The couple froze. Germany jumped on to his feet with such a force that threw Italy few feet away. With a furious blush covering his face, he started to run with the speed of the wind towards his home.  
'I don't even know why I said that.' I thought while hiding again into the bushes and trying to facepalm my hand through my skull. 'It didn't even make any sense!'  
I sighed and shrugged. 'Well, what's done is done, can't do anything about it now... And it didn't cause anything bad to Germany-san anyway, so everything is fine, isn't it?'

How could a person be more wrong.

* * *

Prussia climbed down from a tree nearby. He shook off the leaves and dust from his clothes, lift up his head and gave the most devious smirk you've ever seen.  
"This..." he said, while spinning a video camera in his hands, "...is going to be fun."  
While glancing once towards Japan who just came out from the bushes shaking his head, he turned around and left whistling towards the meeting place, to set up a little trap for his _bruder_ and his friends.

* * *

I walked to Germany-san's house, internally guilty for what I had done, even though it was Doitsu-san's fault for doing something like that and causing yaoi-tingles to me in middle of a public place. Oh, wait, what? I self-slapped myself. What has gone into me?

I pressed the doorbell, which gave out a delightful little sound of bells.  
'Oh, they remind me of western's wedding bells... Wait, WHAT AGAIN? STAHP.' I thought, fighting with my own thoughts. The moment when I was grabbing my head and beating myself Germany-san came to open the door. I froze.  
"くそ。" _(kuso)_  
I jumped over Germany-san's flowerbed and sprinted through his backyard. Germany just stood there, staring eyes wide at my fading back when it disappeared into his neighbour's lawn.

* * *

Prussia walked confidently to the meeting room. He had Spain and France walking right behind him, each one of them having a huge grin plastered on their faces. They went into a corner and started to whisper together in there. The other few nations which we're already there looked at the trio on confusion. They weren't usually so quiet, to them it was completely normal to laugh like crazy, be pinching other people's cheeks (in Prussia's case), teasing grumpy Italians with affectionate gestures like hugs and kisses (in Spain's case), or trying to grope one certain Englishman or try to flirt with everyone (in France's case). But now they didn't even try to do anything like that, even though England and Romano were already there. France didn't even REACT when _AMERICA_ came in and started to flirt with _England_. The other nations were terrified.  
"They must be planning taking over the world!"  
"They're going to kill us all!"  
"Liechtenstein, give me my sniper."  
"Here, _bruder_."  
"Kolkolkolkolkolkol..." (The Baltics were now beyond terrified)  
The mood continued to stay tense like this, until the trio suddenly started to laugh. The whole room flinched (Switzerland almost shot them), and couldn't say a word. The Bad Touch Trio still sat in their corner completely oblivious to the mood of the room. Now, the trio stood up and left the room. The other nations looked after them, utterly confused, before returning to their usual routines, acting like nothing ever happened. And soon they forgot everything.

* * *

Germany sat in his house, recalling what had happened today. Italy had k... k... k-kissed him, he shivered at the thought, blushing and shaking his head furiously, although not knowing was the shiver uncomfortable or pleasant. And Japan... Was hitting himself on my front door? And ran away?! To my neighbour's lawn?!

Germany rubbed his temples.  
'This is giving me a killer headache... I'll try to sleep a little before the meeting...'  
After thinking about that, he went and drank a glass of water, and laid down on to his sofa. While drifting off to sleep, he didn't notice when a one hyperactive little Italian was trying to break in to his house through the window.

* * *

I sat in the middle of the lawn, trying to collect my thoughts. Germany-san's neighbour was looking at me with an odd expression. I kept sitting, not caring about the neighbour. 'He doesn't understand my _SUGOI_ powers.' I thought, giving out some weird, white aura. It told about hundreds of years of wisdom (which was about how to take the most skilled yaoi-pictures). I didn't notice, how my mind kept drifting off from the subject, and started to loose it's grip from my body. My mind went and let go of my now empty corpse and flew to the blue sky. The neighbour stared, when my body suddenly collapsed on to the grass, dead, without any life in it. My mind and soul just floated, free from the chains of my body, and I still didn't notice anything. That was actually the weird part. I think it was to protect my mind not to break in pieces, you know, noticing that your corpse lays limp in your best friend's neighbour's backyard and you're floating in the sky isn't probably the most relaxing thing you've ever experienced.

Despite the fact that my mind disembodied and I was floating in hundreds of miles above the ground, nothing really happened. Germany-san's neighbour happened to tickle me, and since my ninja powers die if you tickle me (T-that's absolutely the case! I-I'm not ticklish or anything...!), I woke up and were back in my body again.  
After an awkward scene at the lawn while the neighbour tried to keep from laughing when I tried to explain what I was doing (he still doesn't understand my _sugoi_ powers!), I happened to look at the clock and decided to leave for the meeting.  
While walking towards the bus stop (W-what? I can teleport if I want to!), I happened to notice a sushi restaurant, and decided to go in a _veeeeery_ controlled manner to check the menu ("OH HOLY KATANA THEY HAVE SALTED SALMON!") I walked **[ran]** into the restaurant and forgot the whole meeting in an instant.


	2. In The Sushi Restaurant! Nom!

**A/N: SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! I've had this chapter for like AGES but I had to re-read it and fix it and continue it and everything... Please forgive me ;-; I also had this longest writer's block of the human history, plus I suck at writing English. And fanfictions. So... yeah. Enjoy, if you can... Or I at least hope you do.**

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**Nihon's Ninja Diaries! Chapter Two!**

In the lonesome room next to the meeting room, the Bad Touch Trio were plotting.  
"Everything is almost ready..." France said with a smirk. Prussia and Spain smirked as well. You'd have some serious shudders if you saw them now. Prussia walked still smirking next to the wall, and put the wire of the video camera into the computer, which controlled the screen of the meeting room. The devious Trio looked at each other, laughed with their own signature laughs and left the room laughing. "And now we just wait..."

* * *

Italy whistled happily by himself. A small, nice rhythm could be heard when he tried to open the window. The occupant of the room didn't notice anything, he was just sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Well, that wasn't going to last long.  
The window finally opened with a small 'clack' and Italy let a little happy cry leave his mouth. His curl bouncing excitedly, he climbed through the window and sneaked behind the German on the sofa. He began to stare at the sleeping nation. After a while, he became impatient. The Italian bended down, next to Germany's ear, and after giggling a little, shouted: "Ve! Germany! France is here! He wants the rest of his cuckoo clocks!"  
In an instant, Germany flew to his feet and without even looking around him, he ran at the door and grabbed his gun shouting: "You dummkopf! You better run or else I'll start a WWII!"  
Before Germany noticed that WWI was long gone, Italy was rolling on the floor laughing. When Germany makes a fool of himself twice in one day, you better laugh before you have Luftwaffe after you.

* * *

Meanwhile...

"OH FOR SALTY SALMON'S SAKE THIS IS PARADISE" I exclaimed (unpurposely) and ate my last nigiri (with tons of salt of course), and pat my full stomach. While fully content and dozing off, the owner of the place looked at me with a little unsettling look. Or maybe it was just his face, he looked like China on drugs.  
Just saying.  
I didn't still forget to be polite, and when I rose from my chair, I bowed and thanked him. Internally I was laughing at his stupid face, he looked so dumb! Geez! Just look at him! Seriously! Oh my God! I can't take it! AHAHAHA!  
Without thinking, I pulled out my camera, jumped on to the table and snapped a very ninja picture, then bowed again, placed tip on to the table and ran away. All this under 3 seconds. (because I'm ninja, duh)  
While running, I still didn't remember where I were supposed to go, so... I wandered to a cute little shop, and realized they sold lolita clothes.  
"OH SWEET BABY _AMATERASU_" I cried, and ran to hug the owner of the shop who was waiting with his hands opened for me, smiling brightly.

* * *

Germany arrived to the meeting (fashionably late) dragging a miserable-looking Italy in a maid outfit and a rope around his neck. When someone tried to ask what the hell was going on, Germany cast them a superüberdeadly death glare and they died. Well, almost at least. Then Germany pointed at a flag taped into Italy's back which spelled: "I'm being punished, don't disturb me. Thank you"  
No-one had the guts to free Italy, since it could cause a painful death to all of them. And not to mention some un-named people were getting enormous nosebleeds all across the room, and they would hunt them down (and in some cases give a few really painful hits from a very hard frying pan) as well if they even tried to remove the outfit from him. So they let it be.

Right then the BTT entered the room smirking like pure devils. You could almost see pointed teeth and little horns if you looked closely. But of course no-one paid them attention, since everyone where pitying (or admiring) Italy at the moment. France took this at his advantage and sneaked to the end of the table where the controller was. He took it sneakily and turned the screen on. Then he put a timer on, and walked to his place. No-one obviously noticed anything, since France was so, uh, sneaky, I guess. Anyway, the Trio sat to their places, and were counting seconds for the show to begin.

* * *

**AA/N: YEAH YEAH I KNOW IT'S SHORT ;-; I'm sorry.  
Now, explanations...**

Amaterasu = Japanese Sun God  
Luftwaffe = German air force  
AA/N = Another Author's Note (duh)


End file.
